Волхв

Chapter 23

           Notunusual."Slowly,disconnectedly,promptedbyhim,ItoldhimabitaboutAlison;rememberinghisfranknessthenightbefore,producedsomeofmyown.OnceagainIfeltnorealsympathycomingfromhim;simplyhisobsessiveandinexplicablecuriosity.ItoldhimIhadrecentlywrittenaletter."Andifshedoesnotanswer?"Ishrugged."Shedoesn’t.""Youthinkofher,youwanttoseeheryoumustwriteagain."Ismiledthen,briefly,athisenergy."Youareleavingittohazard.Wenomorehavetoleaveeverythingtohazardthanwehavetodrowninthesea."Heshookmyshoulder."Swim!""It’snotswimming.It’sknowinginwhichdirectiontoswim.""Towardsthegirl.Sheseesthroughyou,yousay,sheunderstandsyou.Thatisgood."Iwassilent.Aprimroseandblackbutterfly,aswallowtail,hoveredoverthebougainvilleaaroundthePriapusarbor,foundnohoney,andglidedawaythroughthetrees.Iscuffedthegravel."IsupposeIdon’tknowwhatloveis,really.Ifitisn’tallsex.AndIdon’tevenreallycareadamnanymore,anyway.""Mydearyoungman,youareadisaster.Sodefeated.Sopessimistic.""Iwasratherambitiousonce.Ioughttohavebeenblindaswell.ThenperhapsIwouldn’tfeeldefeated."Ilookedathim."It’snotallme.It’sintheage.Inallmygeneration.Weallfeelthesame.

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