Волхв

Chapter 18

           Butwhentheyhadgonesheturnedandsaid,IfIwasgoingtodietomorrowIshouldbemad.Itstunnedme.Wewenthomeinsilence.Andallthewayshehummed,Inowbutcouldnotthenbelievewithoutmalice,asongoftheday."Hepaused,thenhalfsungit:Weshallmissyou,weshallkissyou,Butwethinkyououghttogo."Ifeltlikeasmallboybesideher.OnceagainIblamedmymiserableGreekblood.Ithadmademeacowardaswellasalecher.Isee,whenIlookback,thatindeedithad.BecauseIwaslessatruecoward,acalculatingcoward,thansomeonesoinnocent,orsoGreek,thathecouldnotseewhatthewarhadtodowithhim.SocialresponsibilityhasneverbeenaGreekcharacteristic."Whenwereachedourhouses,Lilykissedmycheekandranin.Iunderstood.Shecouldnotapologize,butshecouldstillpity.Ispentanightandadayandasecondnightinagony.ThenextdayIsawLilyandtoldherIwasgoingtovolunteer.Allthebloodlefthercheeks.Thensheburstintotearsandthrewherselfintomyarms.SodidmymotherwhenItoldher.Butherswasapurergrief."Iwaspassedfit,accepted.Iwasahero.Lily’sfatherpresentedmewithanoldpistolhehad.Myfatheropenedchampagne.AndthenwhenIgottomyroom,andsatonmybedwiththepistolinmyhands,Icried.NotfromfearforthesheernobilityofwhatIwasdoing.Ihadneverfeltpublic-spiritedbefore.AndIalsothoughtthatIhadconqueredthatGreekhalfofme.IwasfullyEnglishatlast.

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