Уловка 22

Yossarian

           There’sanofficialreportthatsaysIwasstabbedbyaNaziassassintryingtokillthem.They’dcertainlylooksillytryingtocourt-martialmeafterthat."

           "But,Yossarian!"MajorDanbyexclaimed."There’sanotherofficialreportthatsaysyouwerestabbedbyaninnocentgirlinthecourseofextensiveblack-marketoperationsinvolvingactsofsabotageandthesaleofmilitarysecretstotheenemy."Yossarianwastakenbackseverelywithsurpriseanddisappointment."Anotherofficialreport?"

           "Yossarian,theycanprepareasmanyofficialreportsastheywantandchoosewhicheveronestheyneedonanygivenoccasion.Didn’tyouknowthat?"

           "Oh,dear,"Yossarianmurmuredinheavydejection,theblooddrainingfromhisface."Oh,dear."MajorDanbypressedforwardavidlywithalookofvulturouswell-meaning."Yossarian,dowhattheywantandletthemsendyouhome.It’sbestforeveryonethatway."

           "It’sbestforCathcart,Kornandme,notforeveryone."

           "Foreveryone,"MajorDanbyinsisted."Itwillsolvethewholeproblem."

           "Isitbestforthemeninthegroupwhowillhavetokeepflyingmoremissions?"MajorDanbyflinchedandturnedhisfaceawayuncomfortablyforasecond."Yossarian,"hereplied,"itwillhelpnobodyifyouforceColonelCathcarttocourt-martialyouandproveyouguiltyofallthecrimeswithwhichyou’llbecharged.Youwillgotoprisonforalongtime,andyourwholelifewillberuined.

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