Уловка 22

The Soldier in White

           "

           "Anddon’ttellmeGodworksinmysteriousways,"Yossariancontinued,hurtlingonoverherobjection."There’snothingsomysteriousaboutit.He’snotworkingatall.He’splaying.OrelseHe’sforgottenallaboutus.That’sthekindofGodyoupeopletalkaboutacountrybumpkin,aclumsy,bungling,brainless,conceited,uncouthhayseed.GoodGod,howmuchreverencecanyouhaveforaSupremeBeingwhofindsitnecessarytoincludesuchphenomenaasphlegmandtoothdecayinHisdivinesystemofcreation?Whatintheworldwasrunningthroughthatwarped,evil,scatologicalmindofHiswhenHerobbedoldpeopleofthepowertocontroltheirbowelmovements?WhyintheworlddidHeevercreatepain?"

           "Pain?"LieutenantScheisskopf’swifepounceduponthewordvictoriously."Painisausefulsymptom.Painisawarningtousofbodilydangers."

           "Andwhocreatedthedangers?"Yossariandemanded.Helaughedcaustically."Oh,HewasreallybeingcharitabletouswhenHegaveuspain!Whycouldn’tHehaveusedadoorbellinsteadtonotifyus,oroneofHiscelestialchoirs?Orasystemofblue-and-redneontubesrightinthemiddleofeachperson’sforehead.Anyjukeboxmanufacturerworthhissaltcouldhavedonethat.Whycouldn’tHe?"

           "Peoplewouldcertainlylooksillywalkingaroundwithredneontubesinthemiddleoftheirforeheads.

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