Тэсс из рода д’Эрбервиллей

Chapter 57

           Ineverlovedhimatall,Angel,asIlovedyou.Youknowit,don’tyou?Youbelieveit?Youdidn’tcomebacktome,andIwasobligedtogobacktohim.WhydidyougoawaywhydidyouwhenIlovedyouso?Ican’tthinkwhyyoudidit.ButIdon’tblameyou;only,Angel,willyouforgivememysinagainstyou,nowIhavekilledhim?IthoughtasIranalongthatyouwouldbesuretoforgivemenowIhavedonethat.ItcametomeasashininglightthatIshouldgetyoubackthatway.Icouldnotbearthelossofyouanylongeryoudon’tknowhowentirelyIwasunabletobearyournotlovingme!Sayyoudonow,dear,dearhusband;sayyoudo,nowIhavekilledhim!”

           “Idoloveyou,TessO,Idoitisallcomeback!”hesaid,tighteninghisarmsroundherwithfervidpressure.“Buthowdoyoumeanyouhavekilledhim?”

           “ImeanthatIhave,”shemurmuredinareverie.

           “What,bodily?Ishedead?”

           “Yes.Heheardmecryingaboutyou,andhebitterlytauntedme;andcalledyoubyafoulname;andthenIdidit.Myheartcouldnotbearit.Hehadnaggedmeaboutyoubefore.AndthenIdressedmyselfandcameawaytofindyou.”

           Bydegreeshewasinclinedtobelievethatshehadfaintlyattempted,atleast,whatshesaidshehaddone;andhishorroratherimpulsewasmixedwithamazementatthestrengthofheraffectionforhimself,andatthestrangenessofitsquality,whichhadapparentlyextinguishedhermoralsensealtogether.

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