Chapter 44

           

           BythedisclosureinthebarnherthoughtswereledanewinthedirectionwhichtheyhadtakenmorethanonceoflatetothedistantEmminsterVicarage.Itwasthroughherhusband’sparentsthatshehadbeenchargedtosendalettertoClareifshedesired;andtowritetothemdirectifindifficulty.ButthatsenseofherhavingmorallynoclaimuponhimhadalwaysledTesstosuspendherimpulsetosendthesenotes;andtothefamilyattheVicarage,therefore,astoherownparentssincehermarriage,shewasvirtuallynon-existent.Thisself-effacementinbothdirectionshadbeenquiteinconsonancewithherindependentcharacterofdesiringnothingbywayoffavourorpitytowhichshewasnotentitledonafairconsiderationofherdeserts.Shehadsetherselftostandorfallbyherqualities,andtowaivesuchmerelytechnicalclaimsuponastrangefamilyashadbeenestablishedforherbytheflimsyfactofamemberofthatfamily,inaseasonofimpulse,writinghisnameinachurch-bookbesidehers.

           ButnowthatshewasstungtoafeverbyIzz’staletherewasalimittoherpowersofrenunciation.Whyhadherhusbandnotwrittentoher?Hehaddistinctlyimpliedthathewouldatleastletherknowofthelocalitytowhichhehadjourneyed;buthehadnotsentalinetonotifyhisaddress.Washereallyindifferent?Butwasheill?Wasitforhertomakesomeadvance?Surelyshemightsummonthecourageofsolicitude,callattheVicarageforintelligence,andexpresshergriefathissilence.

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