Дэвид Копперфильд

My ‘First Half’ at Salem House

           

           MiserablelittlepropitiatorsofaremorselessIdol,howabjectweweretohim!WhatalaunchinlifeIthinkitnow,onlookingback,tobesomeanandserviletoamanofsuchpartsandpretensions!

           HereIsitatthedeskagain,watchinghiseyehumblywatchinghiseye,asherulesaciphering-bookforanothervictimwhosehandshavejustbeenflattenedbythatidenticalruler,andwhoistryingtowipethestingoutwithapocket-handkerchief.Ihaveplentytodo.Idon’twatchhiseyeinidleness,butbecauseIammorbidlyattractedtoit,inadreaddesiretoknowwhathewilldonext,andwhetheritwillbemyturntosuffer,orsomebodyelse’s.Alaneofsmallboysbeyondme,withthesameinterestinhiseye,watchittoo.Ithinkheknowsit,thoughhepretendshedon’t.Hemakesdreadfulmouthsasherulestheciphering-book;andnowhethrowshiseyesidewaysdownourlane,andwealldroopoverourbooksandtremble.Amomentafterwardsweareagaineyeinghim.Anunhappyculprit,foundguiltyofimperfectexercise,approachesathiscommand.Theculpritfaltersexcuses,andprofessesadeterminationtodobettertomorrow.Mr.Creaklecutsajokebeforehebeatshim,andwelaughatit,miserablelittledogs,welaugh,withourvisagesaswhiteasashes,andourheartssinkingintoourboots.

           HereIsitatthedeskagain,onadrowsysummerafternoon.Abuzzandhumgouparoundme,asiftheboysweresomanybluebottles.

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