Mr. Micawber’s Transactions

           ThisisnotthetimeatwhichIamtoenteronthestateofmymindbeneathitsloadofsorrow.IcametothinkthattheFuturewaswalledupbeforeme,thattheenergyandactionofmylifewereatanend,thatInevercouldfindanyrefugebutinthegrave.Icametothinkso,Isay,butnotinthefirstshockofmygrief.Itslowlygrewtothat.IftheeventsIgoontorelate,hadnotthickenedaroundme,inthebeginningtoconfuse,andintheendtoaugment,myaffliction,itispossible(thoughIthinknotprobable),thatImighthavefallenatonceintothiscondition.Asitwas,anintervaloccurredbeforeIfullyknewmyowndistress;aninterval,inwhichIevensupposedthatitssharpestpangswerepast;andwhenmymindcouldsootheitselfbyrestingonallthatwasmostinnocentandbeautiful,inthetenderstorythatwasclosedforever.

           WhenitwasfirstproposedthatIshouldgoabroad,orhowitcametobeagreedamongusthatIwastoseektherestorationofmypeaceinchangeandtravel,Idonot,evennow,distinctlyknow.ThespiritofAgnessopervadedallwethought,andsaid,anddid,inthattimeofsorrow,thatIassumeImayrefertheprojecttoherinfluence.ButherinfluencewassoquietthatIknownomore.

           Andnow,indeed,Ibegantothinkthatinmyoldassociationofherwiththestained-glasswindowinthechurch,apropheticforeshadowingofwhatshewouldbetome,inthecalamitythatwastohappeninthefullnessoftime,hadfoundawayintomymind.

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