Уловка 22

The Eternal City

           "Yossarian,I’mproudofyou,"heexclaimedwithprofoundemotion."Ireallyam.Youdon’tknowhowgladIamtoseethateverythingisn’talwaysjustsexwithyou.You’vegotprinciples.CertainlyI’vegotdaughters,andIknowexactlywhatyou’retalkingabout.We’llfindthatgirlifwehavetoturnthiswholecityupsidedown.Comealong."YossarianwentalonginMiloMinderbinder’sspeedingM&Mstaffcartopoliceheadquarterstomeetaswarthy,untidypolicecommissionerwithanarrowblackmustacheandunbuttonedtunicwhowasfiddlingwithastoutwomanwithwartsandtwochinswhentheyenteredhisofficeandwhogreetedMilowithwarmsurpriseandbowedandscrapedinobsceneservilityasthoughMiloweresomeelegantmarquis.

           "Ah,MarcheseMilo,"hedeclaredwitheffusivepleasure,pushingthefat,disgruntledwomanoutthedoorwithoutevenlookingtowardher."Whydidn’tyoutellmeyouwerecoming?Iwouldhaveabigpartyforyou.Comein,comein,Marchese.Youalmostnevervisitusanymore."Miloknewthattherewasnotonemomenttowaste."Hello,Luigi,"hesaid,noddingsobrisklythathealmostseemedrude."Luigi,Ineedyourhelp.Myfriendherewantstofindagirl."

           "Agirl,Marchese?"saidLuigi,scratchinghisfacepensively."TherearelotsofgirlsinRome.ForanAmericanofficer,agirlshouldnotbetoodifficult."

           "No,Luigi,youdon’tunderstand.Thisisatwelve-year-oldvirginthathehastofindrightaway.

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