Уловка 22

The Cellar

           Thenotioncametohimthattheywereholdinghimtoblameforthemid-aircrashandthedeathofNately."WhathaveIdone?"

           "Whydon’tyoukeepyourtrapshutandletusaskthequestions?"saidthecolonel.

           "Don’ttalktohimthatway,"saidthemajor."Itisn’tnecessarytobesodisrespectful."

           "Thentellhimtokeephistrapshutandletusaskthequestions."

           "Father,pleasekeepyourtrapshutandletusaskthequestions,"urgedthemajorsympathetically."Itwillbebetterforyou."

           "Itisn’tnecessarytocallmeFather,"saidthechaplain."I’mnotaCatholic."

           "NeitheramI,Father,"saidthemajor."It’sjustthatI’maverydevoutperson,andIliketocallallmenofGodFather."

           "Hedoesn’tevenbelievethereareatheistsinfoxholes,"thecolonelmocked,andnudgedthechaplainintheribsfamiliarly."Goon,Chaplain,tellhim.Arethereatheistsinfoxholes?"

           "Idon’tknow,sir,"thechaplainreplied."I’veneverbeeninafoxhole."Theofficerinfrontswunghisheadaroundswiftlywithaquarrelsomeexpression."You’veneverbeeninheaveneither,haveyou?Butyouknowthere’saheaven,don’tyou?"

           "Ordoyou?"saidthecolonel.

           "That’saveryseriouscrimeyou’vecommitted,Father,"saidthemajor.

           "Whatcrime?"

           "Wedon’tknowyet,"saidthecolonel."Butwe’regoingtofindout.

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