Уловка 22

The Texan

           Withthemthistimewasthetwenty-four-year-oldfighter-pilotcaptainwiththesparsegoldenmustachewhohadbeenshotintotheAdriaticSeainmidwinterandhadnotevencaughtcold.Nowthesummerwasuponthem,thecaptainhadnotbeenshotdown,andhesaidhehadthegrippe.InthebedonYossarian’sright,stilllyingamorouslyonhisbelly,wasthestartledcaptainwithmalariainhisbloodandamosquitobiteonhisass.AcrosstheaislefromYossarianwasDunbar,andnexttoDunbarwastheartillerycaptainwithwhomYossarianhadstoppedplayingchess.Thecaptainwasagoodchessplayer,andthegameswerealwaysinteresting.Yossarianhadstoppedplayingchesswithhimbecausethegamesweresointerestingtheywerefoolish.ThentherewastheeducatedTexanfromTexaswholookedlikesomeoneinTechnicolorandfelt,patriotically,thatpeopleofmeansdecentfolkshouldbegivenmorevotesthandrifters,whores,criminals,degenerates,atheistsandindecentfolkpeoplewithoutmeans.

           YossarianwasunspringingrhythmsinthelettersthedaytheybroughttheTexanin.Itwasanotherquiet,hot,untroubledday.Theheatpressedheavilyontheroof,stiflingsound.Dunbarwaslyingmotionlessonhisbackagainwithhiseyesstaringupattheceilinglikeadoll’s.Hewasworkinghardatincreasinghislifespan.Hediditbycultivatingboredom.DunbarwasworkingsohardatincreasinghislifespanthatYossarianthoughthewasdead.TheyputtheTexaninabedinthemiddleoftheward,anditwasn’tlongbeforehedonatedhisviews.

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