Уловка 22

Milo

           EverybodybutYossarianthoughtMilowasajerk,firstforvolunteeringforthejobofmessofficerandnextfortakingitsoseriously.YossarianalsothoughtthatMilowasajerk;buthealsoknewthatMilowasagenius.

           OnedayMiloflewawaytoEnglandtopickupaloadofTurkishhalvahandcameflyingbackfromMadagascarleadingfourGermanbombersfilledwithyams,collards,mustardgreensandblack-eyedGeorgiapeas.MilowasdumbfoundedwhenhesteppeddowntothegroundandfoundacontingentofarmedM.P.swaitingtoimprisontheGermanpilotsandconfiscatetheirplanes.Confiscate!Themerewordwasanathematohim,andhestormedbackandforthinexcoriatingcondemnation,shakingapiercingfingerofrebukeintheguilt-riddenfacesofColonelCathcart,ColonelKornandthepoorbattle-scarredcaptainwiththesubmachinegunwhocommandedtheM.P.s.

           "IsthisRussia?"Miloassailedthemincredulouslyatthetopofhisvoice."Confiscate?"heshrieked,asthoughhecouldnotbelievehisownears."SincewhenisitthepolicyoftheAmericangovernmenttoconfiscatetheprivatepropertyofitscitizens?Shameonyou!Shameonallofyouforeventhinkingsuchahorriblethought."

           "ButMilo,"MajorDanbyinterruptedtimidly,"we’reatwarwithGermany,andthoseareGermanplanes."

           "Theyarenosuchthing!"Miloretortedfuriously."Thoseplanesbelongtothesyndicate,andeverybodyhasashare.

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