Уловка 22

Nately’s Old Man

           "

           "Youputsomuchstockinwinningwars,"thegrubbyiniquitousoldmanscoffed."Therealtrickliesinlosingwars,inknowingwhichwarscanbelost.Italyhasbeenlosingwarsforcenturies,andjustseehowsplendidlywe’vedonenonetheless.Francewinswarsandisinacontinualstateofcrisis.Germanylosesandprospers.Lookatourownrecenthistory.ItalywonawarinEthiopiaandpromptlystumbledintoserioustrouble.Victorygaveussuchinsanedelusionsofgrandeurthatwehelpedstartaworldwarwehadn’tachanceofwinning.Butnowthatwearelosingagain,everythinghastakenaturnforthebetter,andwewillcertainlycomeoutontopagainifwesucceedinbeingdefeated."Natelygapedathiminundisguisedbefuddlement."NowIreallydon’tunderstandwhatyou’resaying.Youtalklikeamadman."

           "ButIlivelikeasaneone.IwasafascistwhenMussoliniwasontop,andIamananti-fascistnowthathehasbeendeposed.Iwasfanaticallypro-GermanwhentheGermanswereheretoprotectusagainsttheAmericans,andnowthattheAmericansareheretoprotectusagainsttheGermansIamfanaticallypro-American.Icanassureyou,myoutragedyoungfriend’theoldman’sknowing,disdainfuleyesshoneevenmoreeffervescentlyasNately’sstutteringdismayincreased’thatyouandyourcountrywillhaveanomoreloyalpartisaninItalythanmebutonlyaslongasyouremaininItaly.

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