Уловка 22

Corporal Whitcomb

           "I’mthebestfriendyou’vegotandyoudon’tevenknowit,"heassertedbelligerently,andwalkedoutofthechaplain’stent.Hewalkedbackin."I’monyoursideandyoudon’tevenrealizeit.Don’tyouknowwhatserioustroubleyou’rein?ThatC.I.D.manhasgonerushingbacktothehospitaltowriteabrand-newreportonyouaboutthattomato."

           "Whattomato?"thechaplainasked,blinking.

           "Theplumtomatoyouwerehidinginyourhandwhenyoufirstshoweduphere.Thereitis.Thetomatoyou’restillholdinginyourhandrightthisveryminute!"ThecaptainunclenchedhisfingerswithsurpriseandsawthathewasstillholdingtheplumtomatohehadobtainedinColonelCathcart’soffice.Hesetitdownquicklyonthebridgetable."IgotthistomatofromColonelCathcart,"hesaid,andwasstruckbyhowludicroushisexplanationsounded."HeinsistedItakeit."

           "Youdon’thavetolietome,"CorporalWhitcombanswered."Idon’tcarewhetheryoustoleitfromhimornot."

           "Stoleit?"thechaplainexclaimedwithamazement."WhyshouldIwanttostealaplumtomato?"

           "That’sexactlywhathadusbothstumped,"saidCorporalWhitcomb."AndthentheC.I.D.manfiguredoutyoumighthavesomeimportantsecretpapershiddenawayinsideit."Thechaplainsaggedlimplybeneaththemountainousweightofhisdespair."Idon’thaveanyimportantsecretpapershiddenawayinsideit,"hestatedsimply."Ididn’tevenwantittobeginwith

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