Уловка 22

Colonel Cathcart

           "Thecolonel’sponderous,farinaceouscheeksweretintedsuddenlywithglowingpatchesofenthusiasm.Herosetohisfeetandbeganwalkingaroundexcitedly."Lookhowmuchgoodthey’vedoneforthesepeopleinEngland.Here’sapictureofacolonelinTheSaturdayEveningPostwhosechaplainconductsprayersbeforeeachmission.Iftheprayersworkforhim,theyshouldworkforus.Maybeifwesayprayers,they’llputmypictureinTheSaturdayEveningPost."Thecolonelsatdownagainandsmileddistantlyinlavishcontemplation.Thechaplainhadnohintofwhathewasexpectedtosaynext.Withapensiveexpressiononhisoblong,ratherpaleface,heallowedhisgazetosettleonseveralofthehighbushelsfilledwithredplumtomatoesthatstoodinrowsagainsteachofthewalls.Hepretendedtoconcentrateonareply.Afterawhileherealizedthathewasstaringatrowsandrowsofbushelsofredplumtomatoesandgrewsointriguedbythequestionofwhatbushelsbrimmingwithredplumtomatoesweredoinginagroupcommander’sofficethatheforgotcompletelyaboutthediscussionofprayermeetingsuntilColonelCathcart,inagenialdigression,inquired:"Wouldyouliketobuysome,Chaplain?TheycomerightoffthefarmColonelKornandIhaveupinthehills.Icanletyouhaveabushelwholesale."

           "Oh,no,sir.Idon’tthinkso."

           "That’squiteallright,"thecolonelassuredhimliberally."Youdon’thaveto.Miloisgladtosnapupallwecanproduce.Thesewerepickedonlyyesterday.

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