Уловка 22

The Soldier in White

           "Whynot,let’ssay,acutenephritis?"

           "BecauseI’mameningitisman,that’swhy,andnotanacute-nephritisman,"retortedthecolonel."AndI’mnotgoingtogivehimuptoanyofyoukidneybirdswithoutastruggle.Iwasherefirst."Intheend,thedoctorswereallinaccord.Theyagreedtheyhadnoideawhatwaswrongwiththesoldierwhosaweverythingtwice,andtheyrolledhimawayintoaroominthecorridorandquarantinedeveryoneelseinthewardforfourteendays.

           ThanksgivingDaycameandwentwithoutanyfusswhileYossarianwasstillinthehospital.Theonlybadthingaboutitwastheturkeyfordinner,andeventhatwasprettygood.ItwasthemostrationalThanksgivinghehadeverspent,andhetookasacredoathtospendeveryfutureThanksgivingDayinthecloisteredshelterofahospital.Hebrokehissacredoaththeverynextyear,whenhespenttheholidayinahotelroominsteadinintellectualconversationwithLieutenantScheisskopf’swife,whohadDoriDuz’sdogtagsonfortheoccasionandwhohenpeckedYossariansententiouslyforbeingcynicalandcallousaboutThanksgiving,eventhoughshedidn’tbelieveinGodjustasmuchashedidn’t.

           "I’mprobablyjustasgoodanatheistasyouare,"shespeculatedboastfully."ButevenIfeelthatweallhaveagreatdealtobethankfulforandthatweshouldn’tbeashamedtoshowit."

           "NameonethingI’vegottobethankfulfor,"Yossarianchallengedherwithoutinterest.

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