Уловка 22

Bologna

           Heneversleepsinhistraileranymore.Helookedlikehell."

           "HungryJoe’safraidhe’llhavetoreplacesomebodywhogoesonsickcall,eventhoughthereisnosickcall.DidyouseehimtheothernightwhenhetriedtokillHavermeyerandfellintoYossarian’sslittrench?"

           "Ooooh!"screamedHungryJoe."Oh!Ooooh!Oooooooh!"

           "ItsureisapleasurenothavingFlumearoundinthemesshallanymore.Nomoreofthat‘Passthesalt,Walt."

           "Or‘Passthebread,Fred."

           "Or‘Shootmeabeet,Pete."

           "Keepaway,keepaway,"HungryJoescreamed."Isaidkeepaway,keepaway,yougoddamstinkinglousysonofabitch."

           "Atleastwefoundoutwhathedreamsabout,"Dunbarobservedwryly."Hedreamsaboutgoddamstinkinglousysonsofbitches."

           LatethatnightHungryJoedreamedthatHuple’scatwassleepingonhisface,suffocatinghim,andwhenhewokeup,Huple’scatwassleepingonhisface.Hisagonywasterrifying,thepiercing,unearthlyhowlwithwhichhesplitthemoonlitdarkvibratinginitsownimpactforsecondsafterwardlikeadevastatingshock.Anumbingsilencefollowed,andthenariotousdinrosefrominsidehistent.

           Yossarianwasamongthefirstonesthere.Whenheburstthroughtheentrance,HungryJoehadhisgunoutandwasstrugglingtowrenchhisarmfreefromHupletoshootthecat,whokeptspittingandfeintingathimferociouslytodistracthimfromshootingHuple.BothhumanswereintheirGIunderwear.

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