Уловка 22

Lieutenant Scheisskopf

           We’renotatallinterestedinwhatyoudidsaytoYossarian.Isthatclear?"

           "Yes,sir."

           "Thenwe’llgoon.WhatdidyousaytoYossarian?"

           "Isaidtohim,sir,thatyoucouldn’tfindmeguiltyoftheoffensewithwhichIamchargedandstillbefaithfultothecauseof..."

           "Ofwhat?You’remumbling."

           "Stopmumbling."

           "Yes,sir."

           "Andmumble‘sir’whenyoudo."

           "Metcalf,youbastard!"

           "Yes,sir,"mumbledClevinger."Ofjustice,sir.Thatyoucouldn’tfind"

           "Justice?"Thecolonelwasastounded."Whatisjustice?"

           "Justice,sir"

           "That’snotwhatjusticeis,"thecoloneljeered,andbeganpoundingthetableagainwithhisbigfathand."That’swhatKarlMarxis.I’lltellyouwhatjusticeis.Justiceisakneeinthegutfromtheflooronthechinatnightsneakywithaknifebroughtupdownonthemagazineofabattleshipsandbaggedunderhandedinthedarkwithoutawordofwarning.Garroting.That’swhatjusticeiswhenwe’veallgottobetoughenoughandroughenoughtofightBillyPetrolle.Fromthehip.Getit?"

           "No,sir."

           "Don’tsirme!"

           "Yes,sir."

           "Andsay‘sir’whenyoudon’t,"orderedMajorMetcalf.

           Clevingerwasguilty,ofcourse,orhewouldnothavebeenaccused,andsincetheonlywaytoproveitwastofindhimguilty,itwastheirpatrioticdutytodoso.Hewassentencedtowalkfifty-sevenpunishmenttours.Popinjaywaslockeduptobetaughtalesson,andMajorMetcalfwasshippedtotheSolomonIslandstoburybodies.

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