Уловка 22

Lieutenant Scheisskopf

           Thecolonelsatdownandsettledback,calmandcageysuddenly,andingratiatinglypolite.

           "Whatdidyoumean,"heinquiredslowly,"whenyousaidwecouldn’tpunishyou?"

           "When,sir?"

           "I’maskingthequestions.You’reansweringthem."

           "Yes,sir.I"

           "Didyouthinkwebroughtyouheretoaskquestionsandformetoanswerthem?"

           "No,sir.I"

           "Whatdidwebringyouherefor?"

           "Toanswerquestions."

           "You’regoddamright,"roaredthecolonel."NowsupposeyoustartansweringsomebeforeIbreakyourgoddamhead.Justwhatthehelldidyoumean,youbastard,whenyousaidwecouldn’tpunishyou?"

           "Idon’tthinkIevermadethatstatement,sir."

           "Willyouspeakup,please?Icouldn’thearyou."

           "Yes,sir.I"

           "Willyouspeakup,please?Hecouldn’thearyou."

           "Yes,sir.I"

           "Metcalf."

           "Sir?"

           "Didn’tItellyoutokeepyourstupidmouthshut?"

           "Yes,sir."

           "ThenkeepyourstupidmouthshutwhenItellyoutokeepyourstupidmouthshut.Doyouunderstand?Willyouspeakup,please?Icouldn’thearyou."

           "Yes,sir.I"

           "Metcalf,isthatyourfootI’msteppingon?"

           "No,sir.ItmustbeLieutenantScheisskopf’sfoot."

           "Itisn’tmyfoot,"saidLieutenantScheisskopf.

           "Thenmaybeitismyfootafterall,"saidMajorMetcalf.

           "Moveit."

           "Yes,sir.You’llhavetomoveyourfootfirst,Colonel.It’sontopofmine."

           "Areyoutellingmetomovemyfoot?"

           "No,sir.Oh,no,sir."

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