Уловка 22

Lieutenant Scheisskopf

           FinishinglastinthreesuccessiveparadeshadgivenLieutenantScheisskopfanunsavoryreputation,andheconsideredeverymeansofimprovement,evennailingthetwelvemenineachranktoalongtwo-by-fourbeamofseasonedoaktokeeptheminline.Theplanwasnotfeasible,formakinganinety-degreeturnwouldhavebeenimpossiblewithoutnickel-alloyswivelsinsertedinthesmallofeveryman’sback,andLieutenantScheisskopfwasnotsanguineatallaboutobtainingthatmanynickel-alloyswivelsfromQuartermasterorenlistingtheco-operationofthesurgeonsatthehospital.

           TheweekafterLieutenantScheisskopffollowedClevinger’srecommendationandletthemenelecttheirowncadetofficers,thesquadronwontheyellowpennant.LieutenantScheisskopfwassoelatedbythisunexpectedachievementthathegavehiswifeasharpcrackovertheheadwiththepolewhenshetriedtodraghimintobedtocelebratebyshowingtheircontemptforthesexualmoresofthelowermiddleclassesinWesterncivilization.Thenextweekthesquadronwontheredflag,andLieutenantScheisskopfwasbesidehimselfwithrapture.Andtheweekafterthathissquadronmadehistorybywinningtheredpennanttwoweeksinarow!NowLieutenantScheisskopfhadconfidenceenoughinhispowerstospringhisbigsurprise.

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