Сияние

Night Thoughts

           Hemadeformulasandadministeredthemfaultlessly,gettingupeverylastburpafterward.HewouldtakeDannywithhiminthecartogetthepaperorabottleofmilkornailsatthehardwarestoreevenwhentheirsonwasstillaninfant.HehadtakenDannytoaStovingtonKeenesoccermatchwhenDannywasonlysixmonthsold,andDannyhadsatmotionlesslyonhisfather’slapthroughthewholegame,wrappedinablanket,asmallStovingtonpennantclutchedinonechubbyfist.

           Helovedhismotherbuthewashisfather’sboy.

           Andhadn’tshefelt,timeandtimeagain,herson’swordlessoppositiontothewholeideaofdivorce?Shewouldbethinkingaboutitinthekitchen,turningitoverinhermindassheturnedthepotatoesforsupperoverinherhandsforthepeeler’sblade.Andshewouldturnaroundtoseehimsittingcross-leggedinakitchenchair,lookingatherwitheyesthatseemedbothfrightenedandaccusatory.Walkingwithhiminthepark,hewouldsuddenlyseizebothherhandsandsay-almostdemand:"Doyouloveme?Doyoulovedaddy?"And,confused,shewouldnodorsay,"OfcourseIdo,honey."Thenhewouldruntotheduckpond,sendingthemsquawkingandscaredtotheotherend,flappingtheirwingsinapanicbeforethesmallferocityofhischarge,leavinghertostareafterhimandwonder.

           TherewereeventimeswhenitseemedthatherdeterminationtoatleastdiscussthematterwithJackdissolved,notoutofherownweakness,butunderthedeterminationofherson’swill

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