Night Thoughts

           Lovewasover,andhermanwassleepingbesideher.

           Herman.

           Shesmiledalittleinthedarkness,hisseedstilltricklingwithslowwarmthfrombetweenherslightlypartedthighs,andhersmilewasbothruefulandpleased,becausethephrasehermansummonedupahundredfeelings.Eachfeelingexaminedalonewasabewilderment.Together,inthisdarknessfloatingtosleep,theywerelikeadistantbluestuneheardinanalmostdesertednightclub,melancholybutpleasing.

           Lovin’youbaby,isjustlikerollin’offalog,

           ButifIcan’tbeyourwoman,Isureain’tgoin’tobeyourdog.

           HadthatbeenBillieHoliday?OrsomeonemoreprosaiclikePeggyLee?Didn’tmatter.Itwaslowandtorchy,andinthesilenceofherheaditplayedmellowly,asifissuingfromoneofthoseold-fashionedjukeboxes,aWurlitzer,perhaps,halfanhourbeforeclosing.

           Now,movingawayfromherconsciousness,shewonderedhowmanybedsshehadsleptinwiththismanbesideher.Theyhadmetincollegeandhadfirstmadeloveinhisapartment…thathadbeenlessthanthreemonthsafterhermotherdroveherfromthehouse,toldhernevertocomeback,thatifshewantedtogosomewhereshecouldgotoherfathersinceshehadbeenresponsibleforthedivorce.Thatbadbeenin1970.Solongago?Asemesterlatertheyhadmovedintogether,hadfoundjobsforthesummer,andhadkepttheapartmentwhentheirsenioryearbegan.