Уловка 22

The Cellar

           "

           "Hethinkswehavetimetowaste,"snortedthemajor.

           "Chaplain,"resumedtheofficerwithoutinsigniaatamoreleisurelypace,liftingatypewrittensheetofyellowpaperfromtheopenfolder,"IhaveasignedstatementherefromColonelCathcartassertingyoustolethatplumtomatofromhim."Helaythesheetfacedownononesideofthefolderandpickedupasecondpagefromtheotherside."AndIhaveanotarizedaffidavitfromSergeantWhitcombinwhichhestatesthatheknewthetomatowashotjustfromthewayyoutriedtounloaditonhim."

           "IsweartoGodIdidn’tstealit,sir,"thechaplainpleadedwithdistress,almostintears."Igiveyoumysacredworditwasnotahottomato."

           "Chaplain,doyoubelieveinGod?"

           "Yes,sir.OfcourseIdo."

           "That’sodd,Chaplain,"saidtheofficer,takingfromthefolderanothertypewrittenyellowpage,"becauseIhavehereinmyhandsnowanotherstatementfromColonelCathcartinwhichheswearsthatyourefusedtoco-operatewithhiminconductingprayermeetingsinthebriefingroombeforeeachmission."Afterlookingblankamoment,thechaplainnoddedquicklywithrecollection."Oh,that’snotquitetrue,sir,"heexplainedeagerly."ColonelCathcartgaveuptheideahimselfonceherealizedenlistedmenpraytothesameGodasofficers."

           "Hedidwhat?"exclaimedtheofficerindisbelief.

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