Уловка 22

The Chaplain

           YouletmeknowwhenCorporalWhitcombhassentoutaboutadozenofthoselettersandwe’llgetintouchwiththeeditorsofTheSaturdayEveningPost."Asuddeninspirationmadehisfacebrighten."Say!IthinkI’llvolunteerthegroupforAvignonagain.Thatshouldspeedthingsup!"

           "ForAvignon?"Thechaplain’sheartmissedabeat,andallhisfleshbegantoprickleandcreep.

           "That’sright,"thecolonelexplainedexuberantly."Thesoonerwegetsomecasualties,thesoonerwecanmakesomeprogressonthis.I’dliketogetintheChristmasissueifwecan.Iimaginethecirculationishigherthen."Andtothechaplain’shorror,thecolonelliftedthephonetovolunteerthegroupforAvignonandtriedtokickhimoutoftheofficers"clubagainthatverysamenightamomentbeforeYossarianroseupdrunkenly,knockingoverhischair,tostartanavengingpunchthatmadeNatelycallouthisnameandmadeColonelCathcartblanchandretreatprudentlysmackintoGeneralDreedle,whoshovedhimoffhisbruisedfootdisgustedlyandorderhimforwardtokickthechaplainrightbackintotheofficers"club.ItwasallveryupsettingtoColonelCathcart,firstthedreadednameYossarian!tollingoutagainclearlylikeawarningofdoomandthenGeneralDreedle’sbruisedfoot,andthatwasanotherfaultColonelCathcartfoundinthechaplain,thefactthatitwasimpossibletopredicthowGeneralDreedlewouldreacteachtimehesawhim.

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