Уловка 22

The Chaplain

           You’renotgoingtodisagreewithme,areyou?"

           "No,sir."Thechaplainshookhishead,feelingdespicablyremissbecausehedidnotknowhowtodelegateresponsibilityandhadnoinitiative,andbecausehereallyhadbeentemptedtodisagreewiththecolonel.Hismindwasashambles.Theywereshootingskeetoutside,andeverytimeagunwasfiredhissenseswerejarred.Hecouldnotadjusttothesoundoftheshots.HewassurroundedbybushelsofplumtomatoesandwasalmostconvincedthathehadstoodinColonelCathcart’sofficeonsomesimilaroccasiondeepinthepastandhadbeensurroundedbythosesamebushelsofthosesameplumtomatoes.Déjàvuagain.Thesettingseemedsofamiliar;yetitalsoseemedsodistant.Hisclothesfeltgrimyandold,andhewasdeathlyafraidhesmelled.

           "Youtakethingstooseriously,Chaplain,"ColonelCathcarttoldhimbluntlywithanairofadultobjectivity."That’sanotheroneofthethingsthat’swrongwithyou.Thatlongfaceofyoursgetseverybodydepressed.Letmeseeyoulaughonceinawhile.Comeon,Chaplain.YougivemeabellylaughnowandI’llgiveyouawholebushelofplumtomatoes."Hewaitedasecondortwo,watching,andthenchortledvictoriously."Yousee,Chaplain,I’mright.Youcan’tgivemeabellylaugh,canyou?"

           "No,sir,"admittedthechaplainmeekly,swallowingslowlywithavisibleeffort."Notrightnow.I’mverythirsty."

           "Thengetyourselfadrink.ColonelKornkeepssomebourboninhisdesk.

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