Уловка 22

The Chaplain

           Theenlistedmenwereplayingapracticaljoke!Thechaplainshrankbackfromthewallinterror,bittertearsspringingtohiseyes.Apleadingwhimperescapedhistremblinglips.MajorMajorwaselsewhere,andtheenlistedmenintheotherroomhadmadehimthebuttofaninhumanprank.Hecouldalmostseethemwaitingontheothersideofthecanvaswall,bunchedupexpectantlylikeapackofgreedy,gloatingomnivorousbeastsofprey,readywiththeirbarbaricmirthandjeerstopounceonhimbrutallythemomenthereappeared.Hecursedhimselfforhisgullibilityandwishedinpanicforsomethinglikeamaskorapairofdarkglassesandafalsemustachetodisguisehim,orforaforceful,deepvoicelikeColonelCathcart’sandbroad,muscularshouldersandbicepstoenablehimtostepoutsidefearlesslyandvanquishhismalevolentpersecutorswithanoverbearingauthorityandself-confidencethatwouldmakethemallquailandslinkawaycravenlyinrepentance.Helackedthecouragetofacethem.Theonlyotherwayoutwasthewindow.Thecoastwasclear,andthechaplainjumpedoutofMajorMajor’sofficethroughthewindow,dartedswiftlyaroundthecornerofthetent,andleapeddowninsidetherailroadditchtohide.

           Hescootedawaywithhisbodydoubledoverandhisfacecontortedintentionallyintoanonchalant,sociablesmileincaseanyonechancedtoseehim.

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