Уловка 22

Doc Daneeka

           AllthoseexceptYossarianreportingonsickcallwithtemperaturesbelow102hadtheirgumsandtoespaintedwithgentianvioletsolutionandweregivenalaxativetothrowawayintothebushes.Allthosereportingonsickcallwithtemperaturesofexactly102wereaskedtoreturninanhourtohavetheirtemperaturestakenagain.Yossarian,withhistemperatureof101,couldgotothehospitalwheneverhewantedtobecausehewasnotafraidofthem.

           Thesystemworkedjustfineforeverybody,especiallyforDocDaneeka,whofoundhimselfwithallthetimeheneededtowatcholdMajordeCoverleypitchinghorseshoesinhisprivatehorseshoe-pitchingpit,stillwearingthetransparenteyepatchDocDaneekahadfashionedforhimfromthestripofcelluloidstolenfromMajorMajor’sorderlyroomwindowmonthsbeforewhenMajordeCoverleyhadreturnedfromRomewithaninjuredcorneaafterrentingtwoapartmentstherefortheofficersandenlistedmentouseontheirrestleaves.TheonlytimeDocDaneekaeverwenttothemedicaltentwasthetimehebegantofeelhewasaverysickmaneachdayandstoppedinjusttohaveGusandWeslookhimover.Theycouldneverfindanythingwrongwithhim.Histemperaturewasalways96.8,whichwasperfectlyallrightwiththem,aslongashedidn’tmind.DocDaneekadidmind.HewasbeginningtoloseconfidenceinGusandWesandwasthinkingofhavingthembothtransferredbacktothemotorpoolandreplacedbysomeonewhocouldfindsomethingwrong.

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