Уловка 22

Havermyer

           "They’vetraveledoverthreethousandmilestoentertainyou.Howaretheygoingtofeelifnobodywantstogooutandwatchthem?What’sgoingtohappentotheirmorale?Now,men,it’snoskinoffmybehind.Butthatgirlthatwantstoplaytheaccordionforyoutodayisoldenoughtobeamother.Howwouldyoufeelifyourownmothertraveledoverthreethousandmilestoplaytheaccordionforsometroopsthatdidn’twanttowatchher?Howisthatkidwhosemotherthataccordionplayerisoldenoughtobegoingtofeelwhenhegrowsupandlearnsaboutit?Weallknowtheanswertothatone.Now,men,don’tmisunderstandme.Thisisallvoluntary,ofcourse.I’dbethelastcolonelintheworldtoorderyoutogotothatU.S.O.showandhaveagoodtime,butIwanteveryoneofyouwhoisn’tsickenoughtobeinahospitaltogotothatU.S.O.showrightnowandhaveagoodtime,andthat’sanorder!"

           Yossariandidfeelalmostsickenoughtogobackintothehospital,andhefeltevensickerthreecombatmissionslaterwhenDocDaneekastillshookhismelancholyheadandrefusedtogroundhim.

           "Youthinkyou’vegottroubles?"DocDaneekarebukedhimgrievingly."Whataboutme?IlivedonpeanutsforeightyearswhileIlearnedhowtobeadoctor.Afterthepeanuts,IlivedonchickenfeedinmyownofficeuntilIcouldbuildupapracticedecentenoughtoevenpayexpenses.Then,justastheshopwasfinallystartingtoshowaprofit,theydraftedme.Idon’tknowwhatyou’recomplainingabout."

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