Уловка 22

The Soldier in White

           Butcometouswithalivercomplaintandyoucanfoolusforweeks.Theliver,yousee,isalarge,uglymysterytous.Ifyou’veevereatenliveryouknowwhatImean.We’reprettysuretodaythattheliverexistsandwehaveafairlygoodideaofwhatitdoeswheneverit’sdoingwhatit’ssupposedtobedoing.Beyondthat,we’rereallyinthedark.Afterall,whatisaliver?Myfather,forexample,diedofcanceroftheliverandwasneversickadayofhisliferightuptillthemomentitkilledhim.Neverfeltatwingeofpain.Inaway,thatwastoobad,sinceIhatedmyfather.Lustformymother,youknow."

           "What’sanEnglishmedicalofficerdoingondutyhere?"Yossarianwantedtoknow.

           Theofficerlaughed."I’lltellyouallaboutthatwhenIseeyoutomorrowmorning.Andthrowthatsillyicebagawaybeforeyoudieofpneumonia."Yossarianneversawhimagain.Thatwasoneofthenicethingsaboutallthedoctorsatthehospital;heneversawanyofthemasecondtime.Theycameandwentandsimplydisappeared.InplaceoftheEnglishinternthenextday,therearrivedagroupofdoctorshehadneverseenbeforetoaskhimabouthisappendix.

           "There’snothingwrongwithmyappendix,"Yossarianinformedthem."Thedoctoryesterdaysaiditwasmyliver."

           "Maybeitishisliver,"repliedthewhite-hairedofficerincharge."Whatdoeshisbloodcountshow?"

           "Hehasn’thadabloodcount."

           "Haveonetakenrightaway.

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