Уловка 22

The Texan

           Apartfromthedoctorsandthenurses,nooneeverdisturbedhim.Foralittlewhileinthemorninghehadtocensorletters,buthewasfreeafterthattospendtherestofeachdaylyingaroundidlywithaclearconscience.Hewascomfortableinthehospital,anditwaseasytostayonbecausehealwaysranatemperatureof101.HewasevenmorecomfortablethanDunbar,whohadtokeepfallingdownonhisfaceinordertogethismealsbroughttohiminbed.

           Afterhemadeuphismindtospendtherestofthewarinthehospital,Yossarianwroteletterstoeveryoneheknewsayingthathewasinthehospitalbutnevermentioningwhy.Onedayhehadabetteridea.Toeveryoneheknewhewrotethathewasgoingonaverydangerousmission."Theyaskedforvolunteers.It’sverydangerous,butsomeonehastodoit.I’llwriteyoutheinstantIgetback."Andhehadnotwrittenanyonesince.

           Alltheofficerpatientsinthewardwereforcedtocensorletterswrittenbyalltheenlisted-menpatients,whowerekeptinresidenceinwardsoftheirown.Itwasamonotonousjob,andYossarianwasdisappointedtolearnthatthelivesofenlistedmenwereonlyslightlymoreinterestingthanthelivesofofficers.Afterthefirstdayhehadnocuriosityatall.Tobreakthemonotonyheinventedgames.Deathtoallmodifiers,hedeclaredoneday,andoutofeveryletterthatpassedthroughhishandswenteveryadverbandeveryadjective.Thenextdayhemadewaronarticles.

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