Уловка 22

Major Major Major Major

           Inthespaceofasingleproductiveminute,therefore,hemightendorsetwentyseparatedocumentseachadvisinghimtopayabsolutelynoattentiontoanyoftheothers.FromGeneralPeckem’sofficeonthemainlandcameprolixbulletinseachdayheadedbysuchcheeryhomiliesas"ProcrastinationIstheThiefofTime"and"CleanlinessIsNexttoGodliness."

           GeneralPeckem’scommunicationsaboutcleanlinessandprocrastinationmadeMajorMajorfeellikeafilthyprocrastinator,andhealwaysgotthoseoutofthewayasquicklyashecould.TheonlyofficialdocumentsthatinterestedhimwerethoseoccasionalonespertainingtotheunfortunatesecondlieutenantwhohadbeenkilledonthemissionoverOrvietolessthantwohoursafterhearrivedonPianosaandwhosepartlyunpackedbelongingswerestillinYossarian’stent.Sincetheunfortunatelieutenanthadreportedtotheoperationstentinsteadoftotheorderlyroom,SergeantTowserhaddecidedthatitwouldbesafesttoreporthimasneverhavingreportedtothesquadronatall,andtheoccasionaldocumentsrelatingtohimdealtwiththefactthatheseemedtohavevanishedintothinair,which,inoneway,wasexactlywhatdidhappentohim.Inthelongrun,MajorMajorwasgratefulfortheofficialdocumentsthatcametohisdesk,forsittinginhisofficesigningthemalldaylongwasalotbetterthansittinginhisofficealldaylongnotsigningthem.Theygavehimsomethingtodo.

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