Уловка 22

Lieutenant Scheisskopf

           Thebestsquadrononthebasewonaredpennantonalongerpolethatwasworthevenless,sincethepolewasheavierandwasthatmuchmoreofanuisancetolugaroundallweekuntilsomeothersquadronwonitthefollowingSunday.ToYossarian,theideaofpennantsasprizeswasabsurd.Nomoneywentwiththem,noclassprivileges.LikeOlympicmedalsandtennistrophies,alltheysignifiedwasthattheownerhaddonesomethingofnobenefittoanyonemorecapablythaneveryoneelse.

           Theparadesthemselvesseemedequallyabsurd.Yossarianhatedaparade.Paradesweresomartial.Hehatedhearingthem,hatedseeingthem,hatedbeingtiedupintrafficbythem.Hehatedbeingmadetotakepartinthem.ItwasbadenoughbeinganaviationcadetwithouthavingtoactlikeasoldierintheblisteringheateverySundayafternoon.Itwasbadenoughbeinganaviationcadetbecauseitwasobviousnowthatthewarwouldnotbeoverbeforehehadfinishedhistraining.Thatwastheonlyreasonhehadvolunteeredforcadettraininginthefirstplace.Asasoldierwhohadqualifiedforaviationcadettraining,hehadweeksandweeksofwaitingforassignmenttoaclass,weeksandweeksmoretobecomeabombardier-navigator,weeksandweeksmoreofoperationaltrainingafterthattopreparehimforoverseasduty.Itseemedinconceivablethenthatthewarcouldlastthatlong,forGodwasonhisside,hehadbeentold,andGod,hehadalsobeentold,coulddowhateverHewantedto.Butthewarwasnotnearlyover,andhistrainingwasalmostcomplete.

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