31 A Humbug

           

           Mymasterwasnotimmediatelysuited,butinafewdaysmynewgroomcame.Hewasatall,good-lookingfellowenough;butifevertherewasahumbugintheshapeofagroomAlfredSmirkwastheman.Hewasveryciviltome,andneverusedmeill;infact,hedidagreatdealofstrokingandpattingwhenhismasterwastheretoseeit.Healwaysbrushedmymaneandtailwithwaterandmyhoofswithoilbeforehebroughtmetothedoor,tomakemelooksmart;butastocleaningmyfeetorlookingtomyshoes,orgroomingmethoroughly,hethoughtnomoreofthatthanifIhadbeenacow.Heleftmybitrusty,mysaddledamp,andmycrupperstiff.

           AlfredSmirkconsideredhimselfveryhandsome;hespentagreatdealoftimeabouthishair,whiskersandnecktie,beforealittlelooking-glassintheharness-room.Whenhismasterwasspeakingtohimitwasalways,“Yes,sir;yes,sir”—touchinghishatateveryword;andeveryonethoughthewasaveryniceyoungmanandthatMr.Barrywasveryfortunatetomeetwithhim.Ishouldsayhewasthelaziest,mostconceitedfellowIevercamenear.Ofcourse,itwasagreatthingnottobeill-used,butthenahorsewantsmorethanthat.Ihadaloosebox,andmighthavebeenverycomfortableifhehadnotbeentooindolenttocleanitout.Henevertookallthestrawaway,andthesmellfromwhatlayunderneathwasverybad;whilethestrongvaporsthatrosemademyeyessmartandinflame,andIdidnotfeelthesameappetiteformyfood.

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