Цветы для Элджернона

           IguessNemur’sfearofbeingrevealedasamanwalkingonstiltsamonggiantsisunderstandable.Failureatthispointwoulddestroyhim.Heistoooldtostartalloveragain.

           AsshockingasitistodiscoverthetruthaboutmenIhadrespectedandlookedupto,IguessBurtisright.Imustnotbetooimpatientwiththem.Theirideasandbril­liantworkmadetheexperimentpossible.I’vegottoguardagainstthenaturaltendencytolookdownonthemnowthatIhavesurpassedthem.

           I’vegottorealizethatwhentheycontinuallyadmon­ishmetospeakandwritesimplysothatpeoplewhoreadthesereportswillbeabletounderstandme,theyaretalk­ingaboutthemselvesaswell.Butstillit’sfrighteningtore­alizethatmyfateisinthehandsofmenwhoarenotthegiantsIoncethoughtthemtobe,menwhodon’tknowalltheanswers.

           June13

           I’mdictatingthisundergreatemotionalstrain.I’vewalkedoutonthewholething.I’monaplaneheadedbacktoNewYorkalone,andIhavenoideawhatI’mgoingtodowhenIgetthere.

           Atfirst,Iadmit,Iwasinaweatthepictureofanin­ternationalconventionofscientistsandscholars,gatheredforanexchangeofideas.Here,Ithought,waswhereitallreallyhappened.Hereitwouldbedifferentfromthester­ilecollegediscussions,becausethesewerethemenonthehighestlevelsofpsychologicalresearchandeducation,thescientistswhowrotethebooksanddeliveredthelectures,theauthoritiespeoplequoted.