Цветы для Элджернона

           AsBurtwouldputit,mockingtheeuphemismsofeducationaljargon,I’mexceptional—ademocratictermusedtoavoidthedamninglabelsofgiftedanddeprived(whichusedtomeanbrightandretarded)andassoonasexceptionalbeginstomeananythingtoanyonethey’llchangeit.Theideaseemstobe:useanexpressiononlyaslongasitdoesn’tmeananythingtoanybody.Exceptionalreferstobothendsofthespectrum,soallmylifeI’vebeenexceptional.

           Strangeaboutlearning;thefartherIgothemoreIseethatIneverknewevenexisted.AshortwhileagoIfool­ishlythoughtIcouldlearneverything—alltheknowledgeintheworld.NowIhopeonlytobeabletoknowofitsex­istence,andtounderstandonegrainofit.

           Istheretime?

           Burtisannoyedwithme.Hefindsmeimpatientandtheothersmustfeelthesame.Buttheyholdmebackandtrytokeepmeinmyplace.Whatismyplace?WhoandwhatamInow?AmIthesumofmylifeoronlyofthepastmonths?Oh,howimpatienttheygetwhenItrytodiscussitwiththem.Theydon’tliketoadmitthattheydon’tknow.It’sparadoxicalthatanordinarymanlikeNemurpresumestodevotehimselftomakingotherpeoplegeniuses.Hewouldliketobethoughtofasthediscovererofnewlawsoflearning—theEinsteinofpsychology.Andhehastheteacher’sfearofbeingsurpassedbythestudent,themaster’sdreadofhavingthedisciplediscredithiswork.(NotthatIaminanyrealsenseNemur’sstudentordiscipleasBurtis.)