Зеленая миля

Chapter 13

           Jingles,andthetinyscrapsofwoodwefoundinthatholeinthebeam,Ithinkthatisso.YetthissameGodsacrificedJohnCoffey,whotriedonlytodogoodinhisblindway,assavagelyasanyOldTestamentpropheteversacrificedadefenselesslamb...asAbrahamwouldhavesacrificedhisownsonifactuallycalledupontodoso.IthinkofJohnsayingthatWhartonkilledtheDettericktwinswiththeirloveforeachother,andthatithappenseveryday,allovertheworld.Ifithappens,Godletsithappen,andwhenwesay"Idon’tunderstand,"Godreplies,"Idon’tcare."

           IthinkofMr.Jinglesdyingwhilemybackwasturnedandmyattentionusurpedbyanunkindmanwhosefinestemotionseemedtobeaspeciesofvindictivecuriosity.IthinkofJanice,jitteringawayherlastmindlesssecondsasIkneltwithherintherain.

           Stopit,ItriedtotellJohnthatdayinhiscell.Letgoofmyhands,I’mgoingtodrownifyoudon’t.Drownorexplode.

           "Youwon’t"splode,"heanswered,hearingmythoughtandsmilingattheidea.AndthehorriblethingisthatIdidn’t.Ihaven’t.

           Ihaveatleastoneoldman’sill:Isufferfrominsomnia.LateatnightIlieinmybed,listeningtothedankandhopelesssoundofinfirmmenandwomencoughingtheircoursesdeeperintooldage.SometimesIhearacall-bell,orthesqueakofashoeinthecorridor,orMrs.Javits’slittleTVtunedtothelatenews.Iliehere,andifthemoonisinmywindow,Iwatchit

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