Chapter 6

           Thatwasmynightoff.Isatinthelivingroomofourlittlehouse,smokingcigarettes,listeningtotheradio,andwatchingthedarkcomeupoutofthegroundtoswallowthesky.Televisionisallright,I’venothingagainstit,butIdon’tlikehowitturnsyouawayfromtherestoftheworldandtowardnothingbutitsownglassyself.Inthatoneway,atleast,radiowasbetter.

           Janicecamein,kneltbesidethearmofmychair,andtookmyhand.Foralittlewhileneitherofussaidanything,juststayedthatway,listeningtoKayKyser’sKollegeofMusicalKnowledgeandwatchingthestarscomeout.Itwasallrightwithme.

           "I’msosorryIcalledyouacoward,"shesaid."IfeelworseaboutthatthananythingI’veeversaidtoyouinourwholemarriage."

           "EventhetimewhenwewentcampingandyoucalledmeOldStinkySam?"Iasked,andthenwelaughedandhadakissortwoanditwasbetteragainbetweenus.Shewassobeautiful,myJanice,andIstilldreamofher.OldandtiredoflivingasIam,I’lldreamthatshewalksintomyroominthislonely,forgottenplacewherethehallwaysallsmellofpissandoldboiledcabbage,Idreamshe’syoungandbeautifulwithherblueeyesandherfinehighbreaststhatIcouldn’thardlykeepmyhandsoffof,andshe’llsay,Why,honey,Iwasn’tinthatbuscrash.Youmadeamistake,that’sall.EvennowIdreamthat,andsometimeswhenIwakeupandknowitwasadream,Icry.I,whohardlyevercriedatallwhenIwasyoung