Пятьдесят оттенков серого
Chapter 26
MysubconscioushasfoundherNikes,andshe’sonthestartingblocks.
“Anyonewouldthinkyoudidn’twantmetocatchyou.”
“Idon’t.That’sthepoint.Ifeelaboutpunishmentthewayyoufeelaboutmytouchingyou.”
Hisentiredemeanorchangesinananosecond.GoneisplayfulChristian,andhestandsstaringatmeasifI’veslappedhim.He’sashen.
“That’showyoufeel?”hewhispers.
Thosefourwords,andthewayheuttersthem,speakvolumes.Ohno.Theytellmesomuchmoreabouthimandhowhefeels.Theytellmeabouthisfearandloathing.Ifrown.No,Idon’tfeelthatbad.Noway.DoI?
“No.Itdoesn’taffectmequiteasmuchasthat,butitgivesyouanidea,”Imurmur,staringanxiouslyathim.
“Oh,”hesays.
Crap.Helookscompletelyandutterlylost,likeI’vepulledtherugfromunderhisfeet.
Takingadeepbreath,ImovearoundthetableuntilIamstandinginfrontofhim,gazingintohisapprehensiveeyes.
“Youhateitthatmuch?”hebreathes,hiseyesfilledwithhorror.
“Well…no,”Ireassurehim.Jeez—that’showhefeelsaboutpeopletouchinghim?“No.Ifeelambivalentaboutit.Idon’tlikeit,butIdon’thateit.”
“Butlastnight,intheplayroom,you…”
“Idoitforyou,Christian,becauseyouneedit.Idon’t.Youdidn’thurtmelastnight.Thatwasinadifferentcontext,andIcanrationalizethatinternally,andItrustyou.Butwhenyouwanttopunishme,Iworrythatyou’llhurtme.”
Hiseyesdarkenlikeaturbulentstorm.Timemovesandexpandsandslipsawaybeforeheanswerssoftly.
“Iwanttohurtyou.
