Пятьдесят оттенков серого

           YouwererightwhenyousaidIdidn’thaveasubmissiveboneinmybody…andIagreewithyounow.Havingsaidthat,Iwanttobewithyou,andifthat’swhatIhavetodo,Iwouldliketotry,butIthinkI’llsuckatitandendupblackandblue—andIdon’trelishthatideaatall.

           Iamsohappythatyouhavesaidthatyouwilltrymore.Ijustneedtothinkaboutwhat“more”meanstome,andthat’soneofthereasonswhyIwantedsomedistance.YoudazzlemesomuchIfinditverydifficulttothinkclearlywhenwe’retogether.

           Theyarecallingmyflight.Ihavetogo.

           Morelater.

           YourAna

           Ipress“send”andmakemywaysleepilytothedeparturegatetoboardadifferentplane.Thisonehasonlysixseatsinfirstclass,andonceweareintheair,Icurlupundermysoftblanketandfallasleep.

           Alltoosoon,I’mwokenbytheflightattendantofferingmemoreorangejuiceaswebeginourapproachtoSavannahInternational.Isipslowly,beyondfatigued,andIallowmyselftofeelamodicumofexcitement.I’mgoingtoseemymotherforthefirsttimeinsixmonths.SneakinganothercovertlookatmyBlackBerry,IremembervaguelythatIsentalong,ramblinge-mailtoChristian—butthere’snothinginresponse.It’sfiveinthemorninginSeattle;hopefullyhe’sstillasleepandnotupplayingmournfullamentsonhispiano.

           •••

           THEBEAUTYOFCARRY-ONrucksacksisthatonecanbreezeoutoftheairportandnotwaitendlesslyforbaggageatthecarousels.Thebeautyoftravelingfirstclassisthattheyletyouofftheplanefirst.