Тонкое искусство пофигизма
Chapter 4
Sure,theymaysaytheyvaluehonestyandatruefriend,butthentheyturnaroundandlieaboutyoubehindyourbacktomakethemselvesfeelbetter.Peoplemayperceivethattheyfeellonely.Butwhentheyaskthemselveswhytheyfeellonely,theytendtocomeupwithawaytoblameothers—everyoneelseismean,ornooneiscoolorsmartenoughtounderstandthem—andthustheyfurtheravoidtheirprobleminsteadofseekingtosolveit.
Formanypeoplethispassesasself-awareness.Andyet,iftheywereabletogodeeperandlookattheirunderlyingvalues,theywouldseethattheiroriginalanalysiswasbasedonavoidingresponsibilityfortheirownproblem,ratherthanaccuratelyidentifyingtheproblem.Theywouldseethattheirdecisionswerebasedonchasinghighs,notgeneratingtruehappiness.
Mostself-helpgurusignorethisdeeperlevelofself-awarenessaswell.Theytakepeoplewhoaremiserablebecausetheywanttoberich,andthengivethemallsortsofadviceonhowtomakemoremoney,allthewhileignoringimportantvalues-basedquestions:Whydotheyfeelsuchaneedtoberichinthefirstplace?Howaretheychoosingtomeasuresuccess/failureforthemselves?Isitnotperhapssomeparticularvaluethat’stherootcauseoftheirunhappiness,andnotthefactthattheydon’tdriveaBentleyyet?
Muchoftheadviceoutthereoperatesatashallowlevelofsimplytryingtomakepeoplefeelgoodintheshortterm,whilethereallong-termproblemsnevergetsolved.
