Chapter 9

           Seekthetruthforyourself,andIwillmeetyouthere.”

           ThatwasthelastthingJosheversaidtome.Hesaiditironically,attemptingtosounddeepwhilesimultaneouslymakingfunofpeoplewhoattempttosounddeep.Hewasdrunkandhigh.Andhewasagoodfriend.

           ThemosttransformationalmomentofmylifeoccurredwhenIwasnineteenyearsold.MyfriendJoshhadtakenmetoapartyonalakejustnorthofDallas,Texas.Therewerecondosonahillandbelowthehillwasapool,andbelowthepoolwasacliffoverlookingthelake.Itwasasmallcliff,maybethirtyfeethigh—certainlyhighenoughtogiveyouasecondthoughtaboutjumping,butlowenoughthatwiththerightcombinationofalcoholandpeerpressurethatsecondthoughtcouldeasilyvanish.

           Shortlyafterarrivingattheparty,JoshandIsatinthepooltogether,drinkingbeersandtalkingasyoungangstymalesdo.WetalkedaboutdrinkingandbandsandgirlsandallofthecoolstuffJoshhaddonethatsummersincedroppingoutofmusicschool.WetalkedaboutplayinginabandtogetherandmovingtoNewYorkCity—animpossibledreamatthetime.

           Wewerejustkids.

           “Isitokaytojumpoffthat?”Iaskedafterawhile,noddingtowardthecliffoverthelake.

           “Yeah,”Joshsaid,“peopledoitallthetimehere.”

           “Areyougoingtodoit?”

           Heshrugged.“Maybe.We’llsee.”

           Laterintheevening,JoshandIgotseparated.