Chapter 8

           In2009,Igatheredupallmypossessions,soldthemorputthemintostorage,leftmyapartment,andsetoffforLatinAmerica.BythistimemylittledatingadviceblogwasgettingsometrafficandIwasactuallymakingamodestamountofmoneysellingPDFsandcoursesonline.Iplannedonspendingmuchofthenextfewyearslivingabroad,experiencingnewcultures,andtakingadvantageofthelowercostoflivinginanumberofdevelopingcountriesinAsiaandLatinAmericatobuildmybusinessfurther.Itwasthedigitalnomaddreamandasatwenty-five-year-oldadventure-seeker,itwasexactlywhatIwantedoutoflife.

           Butassexyandheroicasmyplansounded,notallofthevaluesdrivingmetothisnomadiclifestylewerehealthyones.Sure,Ihadsomeadmirablevaluesgoingon—athirsttoseetheworld,acuriosityforpeopleandculture,someold-fashionedadventure-seeking.Buttherealsoexistedafaintoutlineofshameunderlyingeverythingelse.AtthetimeIwashardlyawareofit,butifIwascompletelyhonestwithmyself,Iknewtherewasascrewed-upvaluelurkingthere,somewherebeneaththesurface.Icouldn’tseeit,butinquietmomentswhenIwascompletelyhonestwithmyself,Icouldfeelit.

           Alongwiththeentitlementofmyearlytwenties,the“realtraumaticshit”ofmyteenageyearshadleftmewithanicebundleofcommitmentissues.