Тонкое искусство пофигизма

           Let’ssaythefirstlayeroftheself-awarenessonionisasimpleunderstandingofone’semotions.“ThisiswhenIfeelhappy.”“Thismakesmefeelsad.”“Thisgivesmehope.”

           Unfortunately,therearemanypeoplewhosuckateventhismostbasiclevelofself-awareness.IknowbecauseI’moneofthem.MywifeandIsometimeshaveafunback-and-forththatgoessomethinglikethis:

           HER.What’swrong?

           ME.Nothing’swrong.Nothingatall.

           HER.No,something’swrong.Tellme.

           ME.I’mfine.Really.

           HER.Areyousure?Youlookupset.

           ME,withnervouslaughter.Really?No,I’mokay,seriously.

           (Thirtyminuteslater...)

           ME....Andthat’swhyI’msofuckingpissedoff!HejustactsasifIdon’texisthalfthetime.

           Weallhaveemotionalblindspots.Oftentheyhavetodowiththeemotionsthatweweretaughtwereinappropriategrowingup.Ittakesyearsofpracticeandefforttogetgoodatidentifyingblindspotsinourselvesandthenexpressingtheaffectedemotionsappropriately.Butthistaskishugelyimportant,andworththeeffort.

           Thesecondlayeroftheself-awarenessonionisanabilitytoaskwhywefeelcertainemotions.

           Thesewhyquestionsaredifficultandoftentakemonthsorevenyearstoanswerconsistentlyandaccurately.Mostpeopleneedtogotosomesortoftherapistjusttohearthesequestionsaskedforthefirsttime.