Тонкое искусство пофигизма

           ButwhathefoundwhenhereturnedtoJapanhorrifiedhim:aconsumerist,capitalist,superficialculturethathadlostallofthetraditionsofhonorandsacrificeuponwhichhisgenerationhadbeenraised.

           OnodatriedtousehissuddencelebritytoespousethevaluesofOldJapan,buthewastone-deaftothisnewsociety.Hewasseenmoreasashowpiecethanasaseriousculturalthinker—aJapanesemanwhohademergedfromatimecapsuleforalltomarvelat,likearelicinamuseum.

           Andintheironyofironies,Onodabecamefarmoredepressedthanhe’deverbeeninthejungleforallthoseyears.Atleastinthejunglehislifehadstoodforsomething;ithadmeantsomething.Thathadmadehissufferingendurable,indeedevenalittlebitdesirable.ButbackinJapan,inwhatheconsideredtobeavacuousnationfullofhippiesandloosewomeninWesternclothing,hewasconfrontedwiththeunavoidabletruth:thathisfightinghadmeantnothing.TheJapanhehadlivedandfoughtfornolongerexisted.Andtheweightofthisrealizationpiercedhiminawaythatnobulleteverhad.Becausehissufferinghadmeantnothing,itsuddenlybecamerealizedandtrue:thirtyyearswasted.

           Andso,in1980,OnodapackedupandmovedtoBrazil,whereheremaineduntilhedied.

           TheSelf-AwarenessOnion

           Self-awarenessislikeanonion.Therearemultiplelayerstoit,andthemoreyoupeelthemback,themorelikelyyou’regoingtostartcryingatinappropriatetimes.