Тонкое искусство пофигизма
Chapter 8
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“Mycoworkersareidiots;theyalwaysmakemelatetomeetingsbecauseIhavetotellthemhowtodotheirjobs.”
“Ican’tbelieveyoumademefeelsostupidinfrontofmyownsister.Neverdisagreewithmeinfrontofheragain!”
“I’dlovetotakethatjobinMilwaukee,butmymotherwouldneverforgivemeformovingsofaraway.”
“Icandateyou,butcanyounottellmyfriendCindy?ShegetsreallyinsecurewhenIhaveaboyfriendandshedoesn’t.”
Ineachscenario,thepersoniseithertakingresponsibilityforproblems/emotionsthatarenottheirs,ordemandingthatsomeoneelsetakeresponsibilityfortheirproblems/emotions.
Ingeneral,entitledpeoplefallintooneoftwotrapsintheirrelationships.Eithertheyexpectotherpeopletotakeresponsibilityfortheirproblems:“Iwantedanicerelaxingweekendathome.Youshouldhaveknownthatandcanceledyourplans.”Ortheytakeontoomuchresponsibilityforotherpeople’sproblems:“Shejustlostherjobagain,butit’sprobablymyfaultbecauseIwasn’tassupportiveofherasIcouldhavebeen.I’mgoingtohelpherrewriteherrésumétomorrow.”
Entitledpeopleadoptthesestrategiesintheirrelationships,aswitheverything,tohelpavoidacceptingresponsibilityfortheirownproblems.Asaresult,theirrelationshipsarefragileandfake,productsofavoidinginnerpainratherthanembracingagenuineappreciationandadorationoftheirpartner.
