Тонкое искусство пофигизма

           IfI’mchoosingtojudgemyselfbasedonmyabilitytohaveopenandacceptingfriendships,thatmeansI’mrejectingtrashingmyfriendsbehindtheirbacks.Theseareallhealthydecisions,yettheyrequirerejectionateveryturn.

           Thepointisthis:weallmustgiveafuckaboutsomething,inordertovaluesomething.Andtovaluesomething,wemustrejectwhatisnotthatsomething.TovalueX,wemustrejectnon-X.

           Thatrejectionisaninherentandnecessarypartofmaintainingourvalues,andthereforeouridentity.Wearedefinedbywhatwechoosetoreject.Andifwerejectnothing(perhapsinfearofbeingrejectedbysomethingourselves),weessentiallyhavenoidentityatall.

           Thedesiretoavoidrejectionatallcosts,toavoidconfrontationandconflict,thedesiretoattempttoaccepteverythingequallyandtomakeeverythingcohereandharmonize,isadeepandsubtleformofentitlement.Entitledpeople,becausetheyfeelasthoughtheydeservetofeelgreatallthetime,avoidrejectinganythingbecausedoingsomightmakethemorsomeoneelsefeelbad.Andbecausetheyrefusetorejectanything,theyliveavalueless,pleasure-driven,andself-absorbedlife.Alltheygiveafuckaboutissustainingthehighalittlebitlonger,toavoidtheinevitablefailuresoftheirlife,topretendthesufferingaway.

           Rejectionisanimportantandcruciallifeskill.Nobodywantstobestuckinarelationshipthatisn’tmakingthemhappy.Nobodywantstobestuckinabusinessdoingworktheyhateanddon’tbelievein.