Тонкое искусство пофигизма

           RejectionMakesYourLifeBetter

           Asanextensionofourpositivity/consumerculture,manyofushavebeen“indoctrinated”withthebeliefthatweshouldtrytobeasinherentlyacceptingandaffirmativeaspossible.Thisisacornerstoneofmanyoftheso-calledpositivethinkingbooks:openyourselfuptoopportunities,beaccepting,sayyestoeverythingandeveryone,andsoon.

           Butweneedtorejectsomething.Otherwise,westandfornothing.Ifnothingisbetterormoredesirablethananythingelse,thenweareemptyandourlifeismeaningless.Wearewithoutvaluesandthereforeliveourlifewithoutanypurpose.

           Theavoidanceofrejection(bothgivingandreceivingit)isoftensoldtousasawaytomakeourselvesfeelbetter.Butavoidingrejectiongivesusshort-termpleasurebymakingusrudderlessanddirectionlessinthelongterm.

           Totrulyappreciatesomething,youmustconfineyourselftoit.There’sacertainlevelofjoyandmeaningthatyoureachinlifeonlywhenyou’vespentdecadesinvestinginasinglerelationship,asinglecraft,asinglecareer.Andyoucannotachievethosedecadesofinvestmentwithoutrejectingthealternatives.

           Theactofchoosingavalueforyourselfrequiresrejectingalternativevalues.IfIchoosetomakemymarriagethemostimportantpartofmylife,thatmeansI’m(probably)choosingnottomakecocaine-fueledhookerorgiesanimportantpartofmylife.