Тонкое искусство пофигизма

           Asformyfriend’sbrother,hisquestiontohimselfshouldbe,“WhatwoulditmeanifIwerewrongaboutmysister’swedding?”Oftentheanswertosuchaquestionisprettystraightforward(andsomeformof“I’mbeingaselfish/insecure/narcissisticasshole”).Ifheiswrong,andhissister’sengagementisfineandhealthyandhappy,there’sreallynowaytoexplainhisownbehaviorotherthanthroughhisowninsecuritiesandfucked-upvalues.Heassumesthatheknowswhat’sbestforhissisterandthatshecan’tmakemajorlifedecisionsforherself;heassumesthathehastherightandresponsibilitytomakedecisionsforher;heiscertainthathe’srightandeveryoneelsemustbewrong.

           Evenonceuncovered,whetherinmyfriend’sbrotherorinourselves,thatsortofentitlementishardtoadmit.Ithurts.That’swhyfewpeopleaskthedifficultquestions.Butprobingquestionsarenecessaryinordertogetatthecoreproblemsthataremotivatinghis,andour,dickishbehavior.

           Question#3:Wouldbeingwrongcreateabetteroraworseproblemthanmycurrentproblem,forbothmyselfandothers?

           Thisisthelitmustestfordeterminingwhetherwe’vegotsomeprettysolidvaluesgoingon,orwe’retotallyneuroticfuckwadstakingourfucksoutoneveryone,includingourselves.

           Thegoalhereistolookatwhichproblemisbetter.Becauseafterall,asDisappointmentPandasaid,life’sproblemsareendless.

           Myfriend’sbrother,whatarehisoptions?

           A.