Тонкое искусство пофигизма
Chapter 6
Butsincetheengagement,myfriend’sbrotherhasbeenadmonishinghernonstopaboutherimmaturelifechoices,warningherthatshe’sgoingtohurtherselfwiththisguy,thatshe’smakingamistake,thatshe’sbeingirresponsible.Andwhenevermyfriendasksherbrother,“Whatisyourproblem?Whydoesthisbotheryousomuch?”heactsasthoughthereisnoproblem,thatnothingabouttheengagementbothershim,thathe’sjusttryingtobehelpfulandlookoutforhislittlesister.
Butit’sclearthatsomethingdoesbotherhim.Perhapsit’shisowninsecuritiesaboutgettingmarried.Perhapsit’sasiblingrivalrything.Perhapsit’sjealousy.Perhapshe’sjustsocaughtupinhisownvictimhoodthathedoesn’tknowhowtoshowhappinessforotherswithouttryingtomakethemfeelmiserablefirst.
Asageneralrule,we’realltheworld’sworstobserversofourselves.Whenwe’reangry,orjealous,orupset,we’reoftentimesthelastonestofigureitout.Andtheonlywaytofigureitoutistoputcracksinourarmorofcertaintybyconsistentlyquestioninghowwrongwemightbeaboutourselves.
“AmIjealous—andifIam,thenwhy?”“AmIangry?”“Issheright,andI’mjustprotectingmyego?”
Questionsliketheseneedtobecomeamentalhabit.Inmanycases,thesimpleactofaskingourselvessuchquestionsgeneratesthehumilityandcompassionneededtoresolvealotofourissues.
