Тонкое искусство пофигизма
Chapter 6
Butthereareparticularcertaintiesthatweholdonto—certaintiesthatwe’reafraidtoquestionorletgoof,valuesthathavegivenourlivesmeaningovertheyears.Thatwomandoesn’tgetoutthereanddatebecauseshewouldbeforcedtoconfrontherbeliefsaboutherowndesirability.Thatmandoesn’taskforthepromotionbecausehewouldhavetoconfronthisbeliefsaboutwhathisskillsareactuallyworth.
It’seasiertositinapainfulcertaintythatnobodywouldfindyouattractive,thatnobodyappreciatesyourtalents,thantoactuallytestthosebeliefsandfindoutforsure.
Beliefsofthissort—thatI’mnotattractiveenough,sowhybother;orthatmybossisanasshole,sowhybother—aredesignedtogiveusmoderatecomfortnowbymortgaginggreaterhappinessandsuccesslateron.They’reterriblelong-termstrategies,yetweclingtothembecauseweassumewe’reright,becauseweassumewealreadyknowwhat’ssupposedtohappen.Inotherwords,weassumeweknowhowthestoryends.
Certaintyistheenemyofgrowth.Nothingisforcertainuntilithasalreadyhappened—andeventhen,it’sstilldebatable.That’swhyacceptingtheinevitableimperfectionsofourvaluesisnecessaryforanygrowthtotakeplace.
Insteadofstrivingforcertainty,weshouldbeinconstantsearchofdoubt:doubtaboutourownbeliefs,doubtaboutourownfeelings,doubtaboutwhatthefuturemayholdforusunlesswegetoutthereandcreateitforourselves.
